Bodily Fluids, Bodily Fluids, and... Bodily Fluids.

"You'll just have to wait a minute!" I yelled through a mouthful of fries over the wails of a crying baby, wiping in vain at the dried spit up on my shirt with one hand and surreptitiously dipping a soother in a bottle of whiskey with the other. That's kind of what last night was like. I changed shirts three times yesterday, prompting me to swear off shirts forever. And I don't change shirts for little watery spit-ups, no. I only change them for massive, sour-smelling, cottage-cheese-consistency spit-ups. And I changed them thrice. By 10am this morning, she'd already spit up approximately 5 times.

Luckily, she was a champ at her RSV immunization today. And by a champ, I mean that she peed all over the office floor as I held her out to put on the scale to weigh her. "That's happened before, right?" I asked anxiously, prepared to be reassured by the nurses that this was a common occurrence. "Well, we've never actually had one pee on the floor," one replied, "But it's nice to be the first at something, isn't it?" You're sensing a theme here, aren't you? And it's possible that I may not have changed my clothes after that incident. "It's only a couple of drops of pee on my pants," I said. "It's only a little urine on the bottom of my shoes," I said.

In other news, Q's weight gain is a little on the low side (3 pounds total since birth), and when I pump (rarely), I am only able to pump about 3 oz total (she takes about 5 oz when given a bottle). I'm still debating whether this is a matter of "knowing too much" and expecting every baby to fit within a specific set of guidelines. Q is pretty fussy, but not extremely. She seems to sleep well, looks healthy, and has an appropriate number of pees and poops. And really, would she be spitting up so much if she wasn't getting anything? It's possible that my body doesn't respond well to pumps, or that I have a particularly cheap one (a $25 manual one from Walmart, I believe). But then they make offhanded remarks to you like, "Well, it can hurt their brain development if they're not getting enough," and you immediately jump to, "My gosh, my body isn't working right and will result in my child's irreversible stupidity!" So back to the doctor and/or breastfeeding clinic I will go. Because my goal for Q is to be chubby and brilliant.

I mean... not for me to be chubby and brilliant. Though I'm halfway there.