Baby Essentials and Non-essentials

There's a mango ripening on the kitchen windowsill. The floor is newly mopped, the laundry is overflowing in the hamper, and this place feels like home. It also feels a little bit like I'm living in my own home for the first time. The cats are reclining on every comfortable piece of furniture they can find, remarking it with tufts of fur like symbolic cat flags stuck in the moon. Q runs back and forth down the hallway and climbs up on the kitchen table, climbs up on the ottoman to dig into her toy box, and climbs over the back of the couch to get to Daddy's computer alcove. There's a massive dark blue Rubbermaid box sitting at the top of the stairs that is filled with all the things that I'm saving from Q's first year of life.

That got me thinking about the trial and error of baby paraphernalia acquisition. I bought a LOT of things to cope with having a baby, and a large number of them ended up being fairly useless. Some of the ones that I expected not to be used very much, however, became essential. And so, as I like to do, I started making a mental list. I would like to share this list with you (please note, this is only what worked for us--everyone's list is probably a little different).


Essentials:

1. Changing table. I heard a lot of people say to skip the changing table. I had a free one at my disposal, so I ignored that advice and set up shop. And it's great. My knees aged about 50 years during my pregnancy and subsequent delivery, so changing Q on the floor wasn't really an option. I could've changed her on the bed, but when I think of how often she peed and pooped on her changing pad those first few months, I dismiss that idea. Plus, it doubles as a shelf to hold tons of other baby stuff!

2. Velcro swaddling blanket. I wish I'd found these earlier in her life. I wrestled her into swaddling blankets for several months before I discovered these gems. You just velcro them in, and voila! No escape! It's basically a straightjacket for babies. And babies are batcrap crazy, so they certainly need straightjackets.

3. Lots and lots of receiving blankets. I mean dozens. That kid spit up with an alarming frequency. We went through several receiving blankets per day. I washed all her laundry with vinegar so that it wouldn't smell sour.

4. A sense of humor. Having a little baby wasn't really my cup of tea. I loved her, but caring for a tiny, fragile, crying human being wouldn't be listed in my personal résumé under "skills". I don't like holding sleeping babies because my arms and back get tired and sore and I become incurably bored. Between her being a semi-difficult baby and my own health problems and resulting mood swings, a sense of humor became imperative for me to make it through day-to-day.


Non-essentials:

1. Baby swing. Man, she hated that thing. I think some babies love them, but I quickly abandoned the baby swing. But I didn't abandon it with the baby IN it, because that would be wrong.

2. Nursing cover. I used these occasionally, but they are really rather unwieldy things. I felt that I drew more attention to myself fumbling under the cover and trying to see to get her latched than if I had just nursed without one. I was able to nurse discreetly by wearing a loose tank-top under my shirt so that I could pull my shirt up and tank-top down, exposing the smallest possible amount of boob. Yes, I said boob. Does that offend you? Boob.

3. Baby shoes. DO NOT GET BABY SHOES. I DON'T CARE HOW ADORABLE THEY ARE. Babies do NOT keep shoes on. Nor do they need shoes, because they don't walk. Socks. Buy lots of warm, fuzzy socks. When I think of all the money wasted on baby shoes that I could've been wasting on baby dresses, I weep bitterly.

4. Anything hippie. We tried all manner of cloth diapers, and they all leaked (yes, I washed them properly and didn't use dryer sheets!). I made her baby food for a while until I realized, "You know, I can just open jars of this stuff in about 1/100th of the time." I was an adamant baby-wearer for about 10 seconds until my back started to kill me. Some mamas aren't meant to be hippie mamas. And that mama is me. I still hold onto a sliver of hippieness by keeping Q in a rear-facing car seat, rarely feeding her sweets, and not allowing her to watch any TV. I had to figure out which things I believed would truly make a difference in her long-term development, and cloth diapers and homemade baby food weren't among them.

So there you have it! My list of essentials and non-essentials. Seriously, though, everyone's lists are different. I know some moms who swear by their baby swings.