Half-Birthday

I am sitting downstairs with my feet propped up on the inflatable mattress that is taking up the entirety of the downstairs room. I can hear the floorboards creaking upstairs as Steven walks around, and the sheet of bubble wrap in my hands is completely popped.

In this state of relaxation, I intend to write about Q turning 6 months old. It happened a couple weeks ago, but the victory is still fresh. 6 months is a milestone in many regards. Firstly, that was my minimum goal for breastfeeding. I remember sitting in my chair behind the screen in the NICU desperately trying to latch my baby. I remember how sore I always was, and how I took my pain medication not for my c-section scar but for breastfeeding. I remember obsessing over my milk supply when my thyroid went low and Q stopped gaining weight. And I counted the months until the 6 month mark. And now I'm here, and all that is past. Next goal is a year.

As recommended, we slept with her in our room until 6 months. We also waited to feed her solid food until her 6 month birthday. And she is still practically bald. As a 6-month-old baby, I required my first haircut and was 22 pounds and 13 ounces. Q's peach fuzz is just beginning to make itself noticeable and she is 16 pounds 7 ounces, so there are definitely some discrepancies. Her hair has the same subtle reddish tint when it catches the light, though—and she has the same chubby arm rolls that I did.

I sort of thought that motherhood would bring some clarity to my life—and in a way, I suppose it has. But I'm a little surprised to discover that I still keep changing and that I still have things that need to be improved. I still feel young and inexperienced and unsure of what my interests are. But I think I feel a little more confident about tackling them. Maybe I was always a couple of steps behind everyone else. I hope Q inherits my good qualities and improves upon my lacking ones. I guess that's what every parent wants for their child.

So happy half-birthday, Q. And congratulations to me for keeping you intact thus far!